Blackened Crown
by Smiffygans Nekobasu
Summary: I know, you're still too far away. But I think you can still hear me, so I'll keep talking until you're ready to answer.


**A/N: I've seen this pairing around, and personally, I'm a fan myself. It's just too cute for words. I eventually want to do something longer, but I thought I would try putting out something short first, just to see what sort of response I get.**

**Title: Blackened Crown**

**Rating: K, nothing that would be offensive, I think.**

**Summary: Songfic to ''Blackened Crown'' by Eisley.**

**You're too far away, still, but I know that you can hear me. So I'll keep talking until you're ready to answer.**

_A face broken upstairs,_

_I fall down,_

_Tumbling I lose my ground,_

_Paint my hair a blackened crown._

_Lift my head as I cry out..._

He came every day, or almost every day. He came to her side, sank down until he was in full view of her blank, unfocused eyes; and told her things. Sometimes it was nothing but a fairytale, or a story, or something that had happened to him in the past; sometimes it was his view on things, philosophical conversation; and sometimes he didn't say anything at all. Sometimes he only brought little toys and dolls to play with, while she sat staring in his direction. He would make up interesting little stories to go along with his games, but they never brought so much as a ghost of a smile to her lips. He would always hold a doll in her direction and ask if she was ready to join him, but she never was.

Sometimes he told her that he'd been told that she was unreachable. "People did say the same about me, believe it or not. They say that I don't really have a heart; that I can be very cold sometimes." He would pause and his hand would reach for her's, but he never touched her really, he would stop half-way and second guess himself. "I don't believe it.." and after a long pause, "At least, not about you." She would not react, but inside, sometimes..a faint glimmer of light, shadows of the real Sayu Yagami, would come forth, nearly to the surface, before retreating.

He said she was far away. It was amusing to her, since he called himself 'Near'. She was keeping herself locked away in a place that was safe, but cold and lonely. She was trying to protect herself by shutting out all of the bad, but in doing so, the good was shut out as well. It was true, she knew that, but the words didn't reach deep enough for her to react. And so he would finish, "I know, you're too far away still, but I know that you can at least hear me. So I'll keep talking until you're ready to answer."

Inside she would sometimes hear herself scream, "What if I'm never ready?! What if I don't want to answer you?!" But the words didn't come out, and her face did not betray them. Far away, in the furthest reaches of the darkest corners of her heart, a small, pleading voice would usually squeak, "I don't want to be this way...I hate that I'm like this."

_Did you hear me hollar at you_

_to come save me I'm in danger,_

_my pearls have fallen into mud,_

_and you are too late._

He couldn't reach her. Sayu knew that. She was impossible; but sometimes it didn't seem so hard to believe. Especially when he told her things that she hated to hear.

He told her that he couldn't really be close to people, that it wasn't comfrotable, and that it frightened him. He would tell her things like this in a soft whisper so that no one else would hear. Then he would add, "You'll keep that a secret, won't you?" When she didn't answer, he understood that it meant 'yes.' He told her that he could tell her the things that no one else had been able to understand about him, no one except L., but now she was the only one, wasn't she?

He could tell her that he felt better with his toys, they were like people to him. Except, unlike people, they didn't go away unless you wanted them too. You could keep them close to you as long as you wanted, even if they were old and worn out. Even if someone else tried to take them away, you could keep them if you tried. People weren't like that. People left without saying goodbye most of the time, but she understood, of course. Who would understand better than someone who had lost so much?

Near could tell her because she..his voice would always become almost inaudible here, almost shameful, was like a doll. She was like those lifeless, wonderful toys that he loved so much. The way she never changed and never judged. The way he could always count on her to be waiting for him. That was why he could tell her things and not be afraid of her.

She listened without an opinion, impartial, or so it would seem, to his troubles. But inside, sometimes, the old Sayu would reach out to comfort the person in front of her. She could remember that he was only a child then. A child that was her junior in several ways, and the sister in her wanted to hold him. She wanted to hug him and tell him that it was okay, and let him cry if he wanted to, she would only wipe those tears away, and he would smile for her. She wanted to be for him what Light was once for her, during those times.

But then, he would drift back to his carefree self, and that weakness would be perfectly hidden. She would forget that he was young, and she would secretly hate him. She would secretly call him a hypocrite. She was too far away? He wasn't exactly the same, but he wasn't much different from her either. The only difference was that he hid his distance from everyone easily. More easily than she was able to. She wanted to grab him by his slender shoulders and shake him until he realized what an idiot he was, how angry she could become with him for it.

Then he would look at her, and ask her if she wanted to play, and she couldn't really be angry anymore.

_This breath,_

_Precious to you knocked from me,_

_taken so faintly and,_

_I never feel 'till its too late._

It wasn't possible for her to trust him, to love him. He would grow up, grow away from her. He would slowly give up on her, and choose real people over toys. He could overcome his distance, and when he did, Near would leave Sayu far behind. He would forget about the doll shell that she was, forget about the screaming person locked away; and move on to something more attainable. He would grow up, and she would remain the same. She would remain only a toy. He was a real person, after all, she was not.

She prepared herself for the day that he wouldn't come. The day that the visits would just stop without warning, never did she dare hope that he would actually show up. That he would sink down in front of her and say, "Sayu-chan, are you ready today?" And he waited, with complete trust, for the day that she would answer, "Yes." A day that would not come, she thought glumly, sometimes. But still it occupied her thoughts most of the time, even when he was not beside her. She was afraid to go forward, afraid all the more to look back on the past; and so she was stuck in a timeless area that she would never have the courage to break from.

"I've been thinking, Sayu-chan, you're just like Rapunzel." No response from her, except a mild, inner curiousity. "A beautiful princess trapped high in an unreachable tower by some terrible force." He glanced up from the miniature robot that he was dancing about, " I guess that makes me like the prince, don't you think? Trying to get into the tower so that I can bring you down again." He fixed her with a smile, "Don't worry, though, I don't think climbing someone's hair would actually work." He stood up, stretched, and gathered his toys in his arms. "Well, I'll be back tomorrow, okay?"

_Did you hear me hollar at you_

_to come save me, I'm in danger,_

_my pearls have fallen into mud,_

_and you are too late._

"Take care, Rapunzel." He let his fingers almost touch her hand, and for the first time in a long, long time...the corners of her lips turned up, just a slight bit. So small that it might have been nonexistant. He hadn't seen, she was certain. She was safe, she hadn't really cracked that safe shell.

His small, white hand came to rest on her own, and her inner self gaped in surprise. His skin was soft, as any child's might me..it was warm and nice. A tiny blush stole up her cheeks, and seemed to be mocked on Near's face as well. "I definitely don't think you're impossible." He smiled back at her, happily, and gave her hand a small squeeze before disappearing from her sight.

He hadn't seen...right?


End file.
